I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
