it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
