Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
