Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Im part way to drunk.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
