He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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