theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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