why didn't you poke me back
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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