just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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