That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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