Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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