I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
