The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
