The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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