Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize