Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
