This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
