my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
