just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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