this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
