Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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