I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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