i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Randomize
