she was so not down for the gang bang
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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