Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I take back everything I said about communal showers
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
