Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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