Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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