Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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