I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
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