The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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