Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she told me i tasted like america
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
