Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
