I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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