I'm gonna have a badass scar
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
