I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
