just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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