His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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