Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We had to coat check the pizza.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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