Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
