youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize