overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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