She announced her abortion via fbk
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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