Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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