I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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