It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
