For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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