My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
