yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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