bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
