lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize