what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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