I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
