i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
