He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
