Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
