Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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