Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
