The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
